


Untethered

by thecityofthefireflies



Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Gen, Sort of AU, caleb dume - Freeform, padawan braid
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-07
Updated: 2015-05-07
Packaged: 2018-03-29 10:19:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3892726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thecityofthefireflies/pseuds/thecityofthefireflies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pre-rebels drabbles about Caleb Dume.  Originally posted on tumblr and inspired by posts there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this is AU now with the comics.

Caleb’s hands were shaking, reflecting how jarred he felt. He braced them on the edges of the sink and stared into the dingy refresher mirror. His reflection stared back, he looked as bad as he felt. He hadn’t slept in-he didn’t know how long- and had no appetite. 

His eyes flicked to the padawan braid dangling next to his face and he felt bile rise. He kept repeating to himself that it was too conspicuous, the last two transports he had boarded had been from rainy planets at night when no one questioned a raised hood on a cloak, but he couldn’t hide it forever. 

To add insult to injury, the puny public refresher didn’t have enough room to safely ignite and maneuver a lightsaber. He couldn’t even perform that tradition. Was there any other part of his apprenticeship left to blaspheme? 

He pulled out a vibroshiv, and held it next to the length, willing himself to believe that because it would hopefully prolong his survival, it would be what his master wanted. Thinking of his master brought echoes of the staccato ring of blasterfire to his ears and a wave of emotional agony. He tried to push the emotions into the force, but only succeeded in inducing nausea. 

He heaved into the sink and stood with his eyes shut until the phantom sensations and ache of misery subsided. Harsh hammering at the door jolted him into action, his eyes snapped open and he yanked the braid taut with a fist. He held the vibroshiv as close to his ear as he dared and began shearing off the plait. The strands split slowly and one end of the limp length draped over his clenched hand was frayed. 

Blinking back tears, he tied the loose end and jammed the braid into a wad in his pocket. He supposed he’d have to meditate on his emotions about it later. If he ever got a moment of peace. 

Shoving the vibroshiv into his bag, and with one last glance at his now altered reflection, Caleb exited the refresher. He brushed past the irate line of beings, trying to appear casual as he found a shadowed seat in the back and drew his knees up to embrace. Staring out into space, he realized how finalized the end of the Jedi was.


	2. A little less alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by a headcanon I came up with on tumblr regarding Kanan's affinity for connecting with animals.

Caleb didn't know the name of the planet he was on. He thought it might have an "r" or a "g" in it, but he wasn't quite sure. It was just another in a list of backwater worlds with vast expanses of frontier wilderness that could hide a lone padawan. He had disembarked from the shoddy transport, paid under a false name with the few credits he had, and plunged with resignation into the vibrant forest. 

He had no particular intended direction aside from away from civilization. He let the force guide him, vaulting over moss coated fallen trunks and trickling streams until his legs burned from strain and what little light filtered through the thick foliage changed to the faded gold of approaching sunset. 

Caleb found a promising clearing and plopped against a tree, setting his pack beside him. He settled against the trunk and tilted his head back, the rough bark tugging slightly at his uneven hair. He had been forced to do away with the traditional padawan cut in a public transport refresher with only a vibroshiv. Cutting off the nerftail had been challenging, but by far the hardest task had been severing his padawan braid. 

Caleb had barely been accustomed to the length dangling beside his face when he had been forced to remove it. Now the right side of his head felt empty, which was almost fitting because his heart felt like an empty void too, and the force was sickeningly empty. Everything seemed to by empty now. His pack was low on ration bars and supplies, the city and transport on this planet were underpopulated, and this forest was low on fauna. 

Dry leaves rustled to the west, and Caleb's gaze snapped in the direction, he rescinded his evaluation. Maybe the forest wasn't so empty after all. Out of the shadows gleamed two amber eyes, the sound of steps increased and a large feline creature padded into the clearing. Caleb extended his awareness with the force, probing the beast. Its intense stare turned to him, and Caleb released a wave of panic into the force. 

He recalled a few sporadic lessons on connecting with animals using the living force, but he had little expertise in the matter. It wasn't an easy thing to practice on Corusant, and what off world trips he and his master had been on had more paramount missions than befriending local critters. 

His heart pounding with uncertainty, Caleb raised an arm and focused into the force. 

Initially he could feel a barrier between his consciousness and the feline's, and then it just melted. 

Caleb stayed frozen as the animal strode up to him, he shut his eyes, he could feel pulses of hot breath on his neck. The animal could easily rip out his throat, and Caleb wasn't sure he'd try to stop it. 

The breath was on his face now, tickling a larger surface area, it must have opener its mouth, Caleb's pulse was a drumming throb, he mentally braced himself, and was startled by the rasp of a tongue under his eye. He met the now tender look of the creature and struggled to stay still as it swiped at the tracks of tears Caleb barely noticed shedding. 

All tension drained from him and he loosed a shaky laugh, the animal sat back on its haunches, Caleb shifted to his knees to follow the movement. He felt everything he'd held up inside himself come crashing down. This huge feline that probably weighed more than him was the nicest life-form he'd encountered in so many cycles. His laugh grew shakier and morphed into something of a sob. The animal pressed closer, and Caleb looped his arms around its sturdy body, pressing his face into its soft ruff. It bent its head down and raked its tongue across the back of his neck in gentle strokes. 

Kneeling on a loamy forest floor, inhaling the musky scent of animal, Caleb felt maybe a little less alone and empty.


End file.
